Today is World Mental Health Day. It sometimes feels like the only day of the year where we’re encouraged to actually pause, take a breath, and check in with ourselves and our loved ones. You know, a proper check in, not just a casual ‘you alright?’ that we say without thinking.

Sometimes, that question isn’t so easy to answer. I’ve had my fair share of both good days and heavy ones.

Highs and Lows

Life with Usher syndrome is a life of navigating a world that wasn’t made for me. It means a life of peaks and troughs. It can be exhausting and overwhelming and hard work, because the ‘normal’ things can feel twice as difficult as they should be. It can also be empowering and grounding and full of moments of connection that I would never have experienced otherwise. It’s taught me patience and shown me strength that I didn’t even know I possessed. I wish I could say that I’ve always handled this journey gracefully, but that wouldn’t be honest.

There have been plenty of times when I’ve felt completely buried; like I’ve been thrown onto a rollercoaster that I didn’t ask to ride, and I can’t get off. I’m not naïve enough to think those times are permanently behind me but strength, despite common misconceptions, isn’t about having it together all of the time. I think there’s strength in being able to identify when you’re struggling, giving yourself grace, letting yourself rest and reset, and getting back up, even when it’s hard.

Depression and anxiety have ebbed and flowed through my life for a long time, now. Sometimes I feel confident and capable. Other times – whether triggered by grief, a difficult diagnosis, or just a tough week at work – I feel like curling up under a blanket for a very, very long time because everything feels too heavy. And as much as it sucks… That’s just how it is sometimes. It doesn’t mean I’m a failure, it’s just part of living life with this mind of mine. The good days don’t erase the bad days, and vice versa. You can be strong and still feel fragile. You can be grateful and still feel sad. Those feelings can coexist.

Learning to Sit With It

The last thing I want is for anyone to read this and think that, because I can write or talk about it, I have it all figured out and that I’m ‘over it’. That’s not the case, not by a long shot. In all honesty, I’m winging it as much as anyone. I still experience anxiety. I still have nights where I lie awake and worry about things I can’t control. The difference between now and ten years ago is that I’ve learned to sit with those feelings, let myself feel them, and know that they’ll pass.

You’ll notice I haven’t really offered any advice, because I’m not an expert. The only thing I will say is that looking after your mind is just as important as looking after your body. Whether it’s turning your phone off and going for a walk, practicing breathing exercises, or saying ‘no’ to plans without feeling guilty – some days it’s easier than others, but the small steps add up. Pause, take a breath, give yourself grace, celebrate your wins (no matter how big or small!). Ask for help if you need it.

If You’re Struggling…

You don’t have to have it together all the time, but you also don’t have to do it alone. If you’re reading this and you’re struggling right now, there are resources and people that can help, and there’s no shame in reaching for them. Whether it’s a helpline, a friend, or even me, the first step is the hardest but can make all the difference.

This mind of mine – and that mind of yours – deserves patience and kindness and care. You’re doing better than you think.

Samaritans (UK): Call 116 123 (free, 24/7) 

Shout: text SHOUT to 85258 (24/7 free, confidential support) 

Mind: mind.org.uk (information and support for anyone experiencing mental health problems) 

CALM: Call 0800 58 58 58 (free, confidential and anonymous helpline open 5pm – midnight, 365 days a year)

Rareminds: rareminds.org (mental health support for the rare disease community)